 Valentines Day is here...this is a special day set apart to celebrate LOVE. So I thought I would write my post on that theme. We live in a world that throws the world "LOVE" around. I love my car. I love my house. I love that tv show. I love that movie. I love my kids. I love my job. I love my husband. I love your haircut. I love your scarf.....and on and on. We are quite careless with the word. But, LOVE is not a word. DC Talk (back in the day) had a song called, "Love is a Verb" and that is a true statement! Much has been written on LOVE. Books; poems; songs; movies; art~ but what is the standard for LOVE? And more personally, where do you get your standard for LOVE? If you watch movies or tv shows or listen to the radio, the perception of LOVE will be skewed. LOVE is glamorized & romanticized and most of what the media calls LOVE is really LUST. So, what does LOVE look like? I Corinthians 13 gives us our standard for what LOVE is. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails," verses 4-8. The message of love is over 290x in the New Testament. This AGAPE love has its source in God~ its a supernatural love. It is described by verbs….we cannot love this way without being connected to the source. Abiding in God (John 15) is the only way to live this radical love. Apart from Him, our love is a shallow, selfish counterfeit. Romans 5:5 tells us that God has poured His LOVE into our hearts. We can not LOVE the way God calls us to LOVE without His LOVE being poured into us. This AGAPE LOVE is a "no strings attached" LOVE. This LOVE knows NO limits or boundaries. It is a self-sacrificial LOVE that moves the lover to action. The way the other person responds has no effect on our desire to show them AGAPE LOVE. LOVE is tested in relationship. The conflicts in relationship cause what is in your heart to come to the surface. As you walk through this list of what LOVE looks like (based on I Corinthians 13), be honest with yourself and the Lord. Confess any selfish LOVE motives and invite the Holy Spirit to impart His LOVE to your heart. Here are the 15 VERBS that describe real LOVE:  1) LOVE is patient Patient is the Greek word,“makrothumia”, meaning long passion for something; patient restraint. It is like a candle that has a very long wick; prepared to burn a long time. How long is your wick? Are you prepared to burn a long time? I have candles all over my house! I enjoy the scents of candles and when lit my house feels very cozy. If I picture myself as a candle with a long wick, then I can give out a pleasant fragrance even when the circumstance is "cold & wintry". The call from the Lord in this action of LOVE is to: LOVE patiently & passionately bearing with others for as long as patience is needed. Deny the short-tempered human (fleshly) response. 2) LOVE is kind Kind is the Greek word, “chresteuomas”, meaning adaptable or compliant to others’ needs; a willingness to serve and to change in order to meet the needs of others; showing compassion to others. Instead of requiring others to adapt to your needs, you adapt to others' needs. This is contrary to the flesh! When Jesus came to earth, He denied His own comfort and adapted to human flesh (Phil. 2:7-8). What about you? Do you demand others to focus on your needs? Are you "Me first"? The call from the Lord in this action of LOVE is to: LOVE focused on the needs of others, bending over backwards to become what others need it to be…Deny the "Me first" human (fleshly) response. 3) LOVE does not envy Envy is the Greek word, “zelos”, meaning a person who is radically consumed with his own desires and plans; his own plans are the most important & everyone comes after him. LOVE is not ambitious, self-centered or so consumed with itself that it never thinks of others needs or desires… Do you put others needs and plans before your own? Do you have the "I wants"? AGAPE wants others to succeed. Deny the "I wants" which is the human (fleshly) response. 4) LOVE does not boast To boast is the Greek word, “perpereuomoi”, meaning a lot of self-talk; endlessly promoting himself; a person full of hot air. You have been around those people who talk about what they've done; what they are doing; puffing themselves up as they talk. Often, these people do not ask about the person(s) they are in conversation with~ the conversation is one-sided. Several years ago, I was on a quest to NOT talk about me at all~ in every conversation with every person. To help me with this, I wrote on the top of my hand (in permanent marker) YOU. It reminded me to inquire of the person(s) I was around, keeping the conversation all about others. Love doesn’t go around talking about itself all the time, constantly exaggerating and embellishing the facts to make it look more important in the sight of others. AGAPE LOVE focuses on accomplishments of others to build them up and doesn’t need to speak of itself or its accomplishments. Jesus was always focused on others. He never drew attention to Himself and what He was doing. Deny the "look what I did" human (fleshly) response. 5) LOVE is not proud Pride is the Greek word, “phusio”, meaning to be swollen; inflated; filled with pride; carries with it an air of superiority on his dealings with others. Paul uses this word, phusio, in several passages in the New Testament:
Deny the human (fleshly) response to think more highly of himself than you ought. 6) LOVE is not rude The Greek word for rude is “aschemoneo” meaning to act in an unbecoming way; thoughtless; tactless; inconsiderate. I could share countless times when I acted rude or thoughtless or inconsiderate, especially with my husband and my kids. They are the people I feel most comfortable with so they can get the "ugly" responses at times. As we abide more and more in Jesus, His LOVE is woven into us so we deny the flesh in acting "ugly" and respond in true LOVE which is not rude, careless or thoughtless, but instead is considerate and sensitive to others. 7) LOVE is not self-seeking "Zeto" is the Greek word for self-seeking meaning to seek; also depicts a person who is so upset about not getting what he wanted that he turns to the court system to sue; manipulation; looks for “loopholes”; twists facts. We have a society that is self-seeking using manipulation and scheming to get their way. How would it look for the church to show AGAPE LOVE to the world? LOVE does not manipulate situations or scheme and devise methods that will twist situations to its own advantage. It is honest and truthful and can be trusted. Deny the fleshly response to scheme or manipulate to get your way. 8) LOVE is not easily angered Anger is the Greek word, “paroxsuno” meaning someone who comes alongside another and then begins to poke that other person continually to get a response. This makes me think of what siblings can do to each other...just keep poking and doing things to get a rise out of the other. That is childish behavior and in I Corinthians 13 Paul calls us to leave our childish ways behind us. Do you nag or poke fun or sarcastically tease others? Or are you easily angered where your buttons are "pushed" and you react hotly. Proverbs 15:1 tells us, "A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Be careful with your words. LOVE acts in gentleness and does not deliberately engage in actions or speak words that are so sharp they cause an ugly or violent response. 9) LOVE keeps no record of wrongs To keep a record is the Greek word, "logidzomai” meaning to count or reckon; to credit one’s account; the idea of a book keeper who is keeping detailed records of everything wrong. Psalm 103:3, 10, 12 tells us that God has forgiven us; that our sins are far as the east is from the west. East and west will NEVER touch~ its not like east and west circle the globe and meet again...it is to infinity in each direction. God's forgiveness is complete. He keeps no record of wrongs. When we confess our sin, it is forgiven and GONE! To walk in this LOVE means that you don't remind your children what they have done wrong (once it is forgiven); you won't remind your spouse that he forgot your anniversary, etc. We give GRACE to the offender. AGAPE LOVE offers mercy and forgiveness. Deny the fleshly response that says "You must pay!" 10) LOVE does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth Delight & rejoice is the same Greek word, “chairo”, meaning joy, elated, ecstatic, and jubilant. LOVE does not feel overjoyed when it sees an injustice done to someone else… it is elated, thrilled & overjoyed with the truth. The fleshly response is happy when judgment comes to an individual who "deserves" punishment. Don't forget where you have come from. What is your story of redemption? Offer that same reconciliation to others. AGAPE LOVE doesn't rejoice at someone else’s misfortune. 11) LOVE always protects To protect is ”stego” which means to cover as a roof covers a house; it shields, guards & protects. How do you protect the object of your affection? LOVE protects, shields, guards, covers, conceals and safeguards people from exposure. LOVE does not expose people's sins or faults or weaknesses. The Lord shared this revelation with me when my husband and I were newly married. I saw so many faults in him {didn't see mine, just his :)} and the Lord spoke to my heart saying, "Don't expose Greg's weaknesses....protect him; guard him. I am working in him." Those were words I have never forgotten! I will not expose my husband's weakness or mistakes. I will not expose my childrens' mistakes, sins, weakness..... I walk in LOVE so provide protection for the ones I love. 12) LOVE always trusts To trust= “pisteuei” meaning to put one’s faith or trust in someone or something; a constant; continuous entrusting of one’s faith in someone; a “never-give-up” kind of belief. LOVE strains forward with all its might to believe the very best in every situation; never giving up~ doesn't know how to quit. Deny the fleshly response to quit and give up when it gets difficult. 13) LOVE always hopes Hope is the Greek word, “elpidzo”, which means not only a hope but an expectation of good things; expects the best in someone else. AGAPE LOVE always expects and anticipates the best in others and the best for others. Deny the fleshly response to wait for others to disappoint you. God has released His Spirit in you to dig for gold in others; to call out their greatness~ releasing hope to every situation. 14) LOVE always perseveres To persevere = “hupomeno” meaning it depicts a person who is under a heavy load but refuses to surrender to defeat because he knows he is in his place and he stays put, refusing to move. Fleshly response is that when the going gets tough, the flesh gets going. Deny that response! LOVE never quits, never surrenders and never gives up! This reminds me of Winston Churchill during the 2nd world war when he said, "WE WILL NEVER SURRENDER". Stir up that resolve in your heart! AND LASTLY........... 15) Love never fails To fail is the Greek word, “pipto” which means to fall from a high position; a warrior who fell in battle; falling into ruin, destruction, misfortune or disappointment. This goes to the definition of AGAPE LOVE itself, whose SOURCE is GOD~ His LOVE is a "no strings attached" LOVE. This LOVE knows NO limits or boundaries. It is a self-sacrificial LOVE that moves the lover to action. The way the other person responds has no effect on our desire to show them AGAPE LOVE. AGAPE LOVE never disappoints, never fails and never lets anyone down. It is always reliable.  Our LOVE should be the measure of our maturity. How mature are you? Paul says, "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child...when I became a man, I put childish ways behind me", I Cor. 13:11.
In the context of this LOVE chapter, the childish talking/thinking/reasoning is immature love, but as we grow up in Christ, our talking/thinking/reasoning is changed & transformed ~ HE MATURES US IN LOVE! On this Valentine's Day, let AGAPE LOVE renew, saturate, strengthen, sustain, lift and empower you!
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Kristen Tschida
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Our "little loves"!!!
My sister and I in Madison, WI~ Badger country!
35 years of marriage. On our way to celebrate with a trip to Vail!
Family summer vaca!
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